Never thought you would hear those words come out of my mouth, eh? Well watch this clip of Shep Smith summing up with unbelievable brevity and clarity in three, little words why we DO.NOT.TORTURE.
That’s right. We are America. End of story.
And also, I just really enjoyed the added florish of the f-bomb.
Ok, people. Someone at Allure has it out for Blake Lively. How else to explain what might just possibly be the worst magazine cover I have ever seen?
Lest you think I exaggerate, I present you with Exhibit A:
Yikes.
HOLY BAD COVER, BATMAN!
The extreme close-up and the uneven eye makeup = good god, no (!) on so many friggin’ levels.
Eva Herzigova
Following in the footsteps of Jamie Lee Curtis and Brad Pitt, Elle France has pulled together a bevy of natural beauties (including Monica Bellucci, Sophie Marceau, Eva Herzigova, Inès de la Fressange, Anne Parillaud, Karin Viard, Charlotte Rampling and Chiara Mastroianni) for a photo shoot by the esteemed photographer Peter Lindbergh.
I’ll be honest – while the women look amazing, I’m having a very hard time embracing the magazine’s stunt. These shots are a testament to the fact that a highly stylized photo shoot (which includes an army of fashion stylists, makeup artists, hair stylists, nail technicians, lighting specialists, a skilled photographer and multiple assistants for each person) can hide just as much as any photoshop session can.
Each model is perfectly coiffed, wearing immaculately fitted clothes (ingeniously chosen to give the appearance of “I just threw this on), perfectly groomed (while no makeup was applied, you better bet that artist was busy plucking eyebrows, trimming them, maybe applying a very light highlighter to certain bones), expertly lit and – of course – brilliantly shot. Not to mention the models’ own genetic advantage: a perfectly photogenic bone structure.
Gorgeous images, yes. True life shots, as they’re being sold? No way – unless I’m the only woman on earth without her personal army of groomers.
More gorgeous shots after the jump.
Dear God, people, how lazy are we? I’ve recently started seeing commercials for Bisquick Shake ‘n Pour, and they are driving me nuts. Another insanely easy task has just been simplified for us by America’s convenience culture, and I am starting to wonder where we are going to draw the line.
For those who have never used Bisquick, I will say that I am all for Bisquick. It’s marketed as a “pancake and baking mix,” and with a little water or milk is an easy shortcut to biscuits, dumplings, pancakes, you name it. Most of these things are not enormously difficult to make from scratch, but for folks who don’t keep buttermilk in the fridge and have a sudden urge for chicken and dumplings, it’s a convenient thing to have on hand. I won’t argue that Bisquick is a solid product.
My issue is with the new Shake ‘n Pour product. If you haven’t seen the commercials yet, it’s a convenience product for a convenience product. Shake ‘n Pour simplifies life for those looking for pancakes by putting a premeasured amount of Bisquick into a plastic bottle with a cap. When you want pancakes, you pour water into the container to the fill line, shake it, and pour out pancakes onto the griddle.
Now, I’d be the first person to admit, I sometimes succumb to convenience products, and I’ve used up my share of pointless packaging. For someone concerned about the environment, I’m sure I generate a lot of trash, and my showers are longer than they should be. I get why not everyone is prepared to go way out of their way to live sustainable lifestyles. But really, doesn’t common sense have some limits? An entire plastic bottle for one batch of pancakes so that we don’t have to go to the effort of actually pulling out a bowl from under the counter is ridiculous. (By contrast, regular Bisquick comes in a fairly sizeable cardboard box that invariably lasts me for ages.) And seriously, is washing the bowl THAT HARD?
Argh.
At last night’s Vancouver tour stop, Our Patron Lady of Class, Ms. Britney Spears, ended her show by announcing:
Thank you, Vancouver! You guys have a wonderful night. Drive safe, don’t smoke weed and rock out with your cocks out. Peace motherfuckers!
Truly inspirational. Words to live by. Think I can get that tattooed on my arm? Should I add “Rock out with your cocks out” to our new “Thought of the Day” feature?
Brit, don’t ever change.
Source: Dlisted
Fox, makers of such intellectual fare as The Littlest Groom and When Animals Attack 30, has decided they have a great idea to turn this slow economy into a profitable show:
The network has ordered Someone’s Gotta Go, which will take place in real businesses across America and give employees the power to decide who among them gets fired, Daily Variety reported Wednesday.
“It’s Survivor meets The Office,” Fox reality chief Mike Darnell told Variety.
“When someone is arbitrarily let go the first reaction usually is ‘How come that person was fired when another idiot is still here?’ This finally gives employees a chance to make that decision instead of a boss.”
Yeesh. Cause destroying lives on national television is so.much.fun! Hell in a handbasket, folks. That’s where we are heading.
More here.
Let’s play a fun game, shall we? Ten bucks says you don’t recognize this woman:
SO.MUCH.BETTER.
Seriously, gals – how stunning does Drew look on the cover of this month’s W?
Photograph by Mert Alas + Marcus Piggott
It’s a look that’s both punk/interesting *and* highly feminine. Think Brigitte Bardot by way of Debbie Harry. I love everything about it – the textured hair, the smokey eyes, the pale lip and even the barely there brows. DIVINE.
I scanned the cover credits on the inside to find the makeup used for the look, and boy was I overjoyed to discover it was all affordable, easy-to-find choices for the Cover Girl spokeswoman:
You better believe I will be giving that lip color a try soon!
Oh, Linds. I’m rooting for you. You were once a curvy ingenue, adorable and beloved by both men and women. Mean Girls was a masterpiece, a fact that’s as attributable to you as to Tina Fey’s incredible writing.
But why – dear god, WHY – are you fronting a self tanner line? I have nothing against celebs expanding their brands through branding. I could even get past the horribly misspelled name (Sevin Nyne).
Yet, you chose self tanner. I am, admittedly, a self tanner fan. As are you. But (how shall I say this?) you haven’t exactly mastered the art of application:
Exhibit 1
Exhibit 2
Exhibit 3
Here’s hoping that the Sevin Nyne product is easier to apply than what you have traditionally used.
The New York Times posted a video about this very subject. I can’t embed it, but the video can be found by clicking here.
All in all, it’s a good piece in a strictly journalistic sense. Thought provoking, full of great sources and examples (including a recent Lucky cover, which merged four different images into a new one that was actually a composite of two different models). But, as always, the fact that this is news left me scratching my head.
We all know that airbrushing is de rigeur nowadays. Yes, stars (via their publicists) demand it – but let’s be honest, magazines depend upon it to sell issues. There’s no arguing that humans are visual creatures, and magazines do see a huge difference in sales when they have attractive, aspirational (read: perfect) people on their covers.
Is it right? From a business standpoint, yes it is. Consumers vote with their pocketbooks, and they overwhelmingly vote for magazines that feature airbrushed images. I realize that what consumers say they want and what they actually go out and buy are completely different, but that’s the unfortunate reality. Companies are often put in a position of looking good and losing money, or making money and looking evil. That said, I completely agree with the Times video, in which airbrusher says that retouchers should be included in the credits for layouts.
But is it news? Hardly. The general media has made no secret of the infamous Redbook cover with Faith Hill, which Jezebel compared side-by-side with its unretouched version (incidentally, this was the story that “made” Jezebel after it was featured in media outlets such as ABC News, VH1 and AOL):
Image courtesy of Jezebel