ZOMG. *drools*
Does anyone do flat-out gorgeous better than Versace? I would have to be getting married in this dress to justify its price tag, but Versace never fails to include at least one thing in every season’s line that reduces me to total idiocy and incoherent lust. Had I mentioned that’s just about my favorite color? It’s completely over the top, but…
Excuse me while I go gibber.
You have heard me ranting about flip-flops in the past. Allow me to be a curmudgeon yet again. LEGGINGS. I know they’re popular, but I haaaaaaate them. They are wretched. Can they go away now?
To begin with, let’s admit: leggings only look tolerable on a VERY small minority of women. Legs that look fine bare and look fine in pants can look bulgy or spindly in leggings. There was a big spread of pictures in July’s Vogue of Sienna Miller wearing leggings. Sienna Miller can wear leggings. Me? I’m tall enough but I’m still not even sure that I can wear leggings or if my legs are too muscular to get away with it. Sadly, the fact that leggings only look good on a minute fraction of the female population doesn’t keep lots of and lots of people from wearing them. Even if your legs look okay, they always end at the ankle, leaving a bright flash of skin before the shoe to draw the eye. Woe betide you if you then pick the wrong shoe. If you do, the leggings will make your feet look comparatively enormous, and the flash of skin will make sure no one fails to notice that you are wearing rowboats on your feet. I have trouble imagining an outfit with which you could wear leggings that wouldn’t be better served by skinny jeans or tights except the ones that are straight of the 1980s, and I am SO not going there.
Can't you see the CEOs fainting in my path?
I talk about fashion all the time, but we relatively seldom focus on the place where most of us spend a painful amount of time: the office. To be perfectly honest, my real work wardrobe falls somewhat short. I do have a collection of well-fitting and perfectly serviceable suits, a probably inappropriate number of pairs of pin-striped slacks, largely from Banana Republic, and half a dozen shells and silk blouses in different colors. Beyond that, though, what I have in my closet for the workday is a collection of relics of shopping trips ten years ago when it had not yet occurred to me that fashion existed and that there was a distinction between things that looked good on the hanger and things that looked good on me. (Oops.) I finally just threw away a pair of baggy burgundy pleat-front wool pants that were at least one size too large, and possibly two. Let’s never speak of those again.
As I slowly replace the horrifying with the stylish, however, I find myself fantasizing about the wardrobe I’d have if someone gave me Sarah Palin’s campaign wardrobe funding. That wardrobe? Ooh. You know the kind. The wardrobe of clothes so mind-bogglingly sharp and fashionable that the women keel over out of sheer envy and the men can’t decide whether to be turned on by your gorgeousness or intimidated by your air of competence and power. My imaginary work wardrobe involves a lot of Hugo Boss, a lot of Armani, and a judicious selection of terrific work wear from other designers. Filling my imaginary wardrobe is nearly as much fun as stepping up the real one.
Here’s what would be in my imaginary work closet for this season.
Country tweed from Nanette Lepore.
I give in. The fashion machine has won. While I’m normally one of the people who refuses to even contemplate buying clothing for a season that is months away (who wants airy eyelet dresses in February?), my eye has officially moved on to fall fashion. The weather is hot and sticky, and I am far from done with the summer produce. But still, jackets are starting to look cute to me again, and the texture of flannels and tweeds is starting to look rich and appealing again. Don’t get me wrong — I don’t want to WEAR any of it yet, and I really need to spend at least one solid day in a pool somewhere before the end of September. But I have to admit, the wool is starting to call me. Luckily, the stores, physical and online, are starting to fill up with distinctive pieces in tweed, plaid, and wool flannels. Here are some of the pieces I most want to pet this fall.
Versace, do you ever go wrong?
This dress is the epitome of spring — just in time for the fall collections. It’s perverse, but I think I love it. Can’t you just see it with a cute jacket tossed over it as you pick up cider donuts, as bright as the turning leaves? I couldn’t wear that yellow in a million years, but hats off nonetheless.
Multicolored sapphires from Reinstein/Ross.
Recent developments among friends have got me thinking about weddings. (You know who you are!) Being the jewelry fiend that I am, this of course leads me to thinking about jewelry for the ceremony. Engagement rings, well, every woman seems to have her own opinion on the subject, but the options don’t end there. Not everyone wants a lot of bling, but for those who just want to stick with a band, there’s no need for the band to be completely plain either. While big statement rings are the fashion of the day, there are a lot of beautiful low-key diamond and gemstone bands out there too. Some of these also make great little personal indulgences by themselves or stacked. So, here’s a little eye candy and something to consider for those with a wedding in view and slightly non-traditional tastes.
Carolina Herrera. Le sigh.
Like so many of my objects of lust, this dress is not something I would have regular use for in my actual life, but I’m still in love. There’s something so quintessentially ladylike about it — it makes me want to put on the perfect pump (I have just the ones) and put my hair in a French twist and be off to tea at the soon to be reopened Plaza. I may not follow “Mad Men” enough to know what happened at the end of last season, but even I am susceptible to a little faintly retro charm. Would someone like to leave me a substantial fortune so that I can lead that life?
Gorgeous Ted Baker at Bluefly -- too bad it's not his size.
So, I mentioned last month that despite my talking big in March about being the most conspicuously single Femme, I recently started dating someone. (Amusingly enough, a friend of The Ex’s, and a guy who I’ve known for years and whose Hidden Talents I have mentioned in previous posts.) One of the most entertaining parts about dating a new guy? Dressing him up after your own tastes, of course! Assuming he’s cooperative, there is a special kind of fun in ignoring his actual wardrobe and putting him in exactly the outfit in which you think he will look the hottest. This is particularly true if you have been admiring said guy’s looks for several years but have not previously been in a position to do anything about it. Now that we’ve been dating for a couple of months, I figure this is all fair game.
Despite the fact that I’ve known The Man With The Hidden Talents for years, what I didn’t know is that he has a previously hidden talent for hoarding plaid. He has a truly impressive collection of button shirts, long and short sleeved, in a rainbow array of plaids. I don’t really have a problem with that — there’s nothing wrong with plaid in concept. It’s in execution that it becomes problematic. Anyone with eyes can hardly have failed to notice there are some really horrifying plaids out there. I decided this would be the perfect opportunity to exercise my fashion talents/treat him like a giant doll and play dress up. He needs a few more shirts that are not plaid, for choice green. (He also has several shirts that snap rather than button, but I’ve decided to leave that alone. I was initially unconvinced by the snap thing, but I am willing to admit I’ve been converted to the point that I suspect he is slightly sorry for having convinced me. Snap shirts do in fact provide good entertainment value. Particularly in public.) And hey, I have time on my hands!
After the jump, my quest for good men’s fashion… which turned out to be a little harder than I expected it to be.
Why, ILORI, why? Just when I swear off designer sunglasses for good, you tempt me with the following offer:
The best part? It’s for CHARITY, people!
Donated frames will be given to OneSight(sm) a family of organizations devoted to helping those in need – both domestically and around the world.
Umm, how can I turn this down? Sure, I have broken/lost approximately 10 bajillion pairs of designer frames, but sunglasses are the foundation of any summer look and I am itching to get my hands on a new pair.
Whenever I am wandering SOHO, ILORI beckons with they’re beautifully designed store and impressive selection. Perhaps I can persaude a Femme or two to make a venture there soon?
Still need to fill out your summer wardrobe? Tobi‘s got your back. Today only (until 11:59 pm Pacific), get 40% off everything with the code GETOUT40. I’m trying to cut back, but… well, I’ll be checking out that Black Halo dress I’ve had my eye on, and that Laila Azhar dress Lily’s been eyeing? Everything’s on sale. Enjoy!