Leggings, The Horror Of Our Age
You have heard me ranting about flip-flops in the past. Allow me to be a curmudgeon yet again. LEGGINGS. I know they’re popular, but I haaaaaaate them. They are wretched. Can they go away now?
To begin with, let’s admit: leggings only look tolerable on a VERY small minority of women. Legs that look fine bare and look fine in pants can look bulgy or spindly in leggings. There was a big spread of pictures in July’s Vogue of Sienna Miller wearing leggings. Sienna Miller can wear leggings. Me? I’m tall enough but I’m still not even sure that I can wear leggings or if my legs are too muscular to get away with it. Sadly, the fact that leggings only look good on a minute fraction of the female population doesn’t keep lots of and lots of people from wearing them. Even if your legs look okay, they always end at the ankle, leaving a bright flash of skin before the shoe to draw the eye. Woe betide you if you then pick the wrong shoe. If you do, the leggings will make your feet look comparatively enormous, and the flash of skin will make sure no one fails to notice that you are wearing rowboats on your feet. I have trouble imagining an outfit with which you could wear leggings that wouldn’t be better served by skinny jeans or tights except the ones that are straight of the 1980s, and I am SO not going there.
Okay, I realize that a big part of my problem with leggings may be that I remember the last time leggings were in fashion. I know, I’m dating myself. But really, anything that reminds me of middle school even a little is just a no in my book. (Is there any part of our lives during which we are more consistently awful to each other and ourselves?) I just cannot convince myself that any kind of return to 80s fashion is a good idea. (Acid green: still a no.) It’s been happening for a while now, but I continue to dodge it with the same enthusiasm that I would ratted and feathered hair. (Which I also remember from middle school.) Seriously, is there anyone who remembers the 1980s who is enthusiastic about the return of 80s fashion? (I also recently saw a pair of stirrup pants for sale. Are they kidding?)
Oh, I know there’s no point in lecturing teenagers who are riding the legging trend for the first time. For every trend, there’s someone who will wear it. But the designers? I am feeling the urge to wag a finger at them and say “No! No!” like I was lecturing a misbehaving dog.
You hear me, Vogue? No!
I wholeheartedly agree. I (terrifyingly) lived it once and I don’t want to live it again.
Although I must admit that the structured shoulders making their way back a la Balmain does have me feeling a little somethin’ somethin’.
BUT LEGGINGS? STIRRUPS?!?! Go away. Now. Please.
where is the “just say no” smiley when you need it. My kids wore leggings, in particular my oldest girl-child at the end of the 80s. They looked cute on her (she was 5, 6?) but thankfully, no one actually expected me to pull off the same cuteness and look – and you can be guaranteed that I won’t be doing it this time around. Age does have some advantages I guess.
I too agree with you except to note that young girls (under the age of 10 , maybe?) often look fine in leggings – then again, this is preferable to an 8 year old in skinny jeans, right? I will also note that some pregnant women find leggings to be way more comfortable than tights or jeans (which may only convince you of their relative utility, but not their attractiveness…) While we’re at it I would also like to speak out against tights that stop at the ankle, which due to their semi-transparency and general awfulness are perhaps even more unflattering than leggings. Even on 8 year olds.
Oh yeah, and Kai, one last thing to note – re your complaints about that unsightly flash of skin between legging and shoe? Why that’s what LEGWARMERS are for! I know that makes it all better.
i’m trying to think of a single aspect of 80′s fashion that I could stand seeing back in vogue. let’s see: acid-washed jeans, off the shoulder tops (which are kind of back, but i’m not a fan), frizzed hair, rubber bracelets, feather earrings …
no. nada. and the big shouldered-dresses always make me think of Angela from Who’s The Boss, but i assume they are done better than that nowadays.
Little kids can get away with virtually anything and still be cute short of the whole toddlers-and-tiaras thing. Adults… not so much. I can’t really get behind the big shoulder pad thing either but then I’m fairly broad-shouldered to begin with, so I’m not really the target audience anyway.
I think you’d look fab with a perm, though, Betsy!
Well Kai, since you have actually SEEN me with a perm, I’ll take that as a back-handed compliment of the highest order …