Confessions Of An Impulse (Grocery) Shopper
Folks, I am an impulse shopper. I know, you’ve all seen my fashion posts, but oddly enough, I’m not talking about clothes. Clothing I usually stalk and meditate on for at least a few weeks and sometimes a few months before buying. If I buy something on the spur of the moment, usually either it’s something pretty basic, or I have Lily or AJ along egging me on. (Those two are pure evil, let me tell you.) No, what I’m talking about is groceries.
Living as I do in New York, I order the vast majority of my groceries from FreshDirect, which lets me shop online and have the groceries delivered. You might think under those circumstances it would be impossible to make impulse purchases, being as the groceries are not delivered until at least the next day. You would be wrong. Yes, you can change your order before it’s delivered if you do it with enough lead time before 11 pm, but that would require you to go back and actually look at the order and remove things rather than hopping on to add new and more entertaining groceries that you have just thought of to the order. That would ruin the sport.
Yes, I’ve heard that the smart way to grocery shop is to make up a menu for the week, and then make a list and stick to it at the grocery store. Good for your diet, good for your wallet, saves you from inappropriate temptation, and so on. Whatev. Lists are for the weak. I do not shop for a list unless I’m having a party and I actually have to. This is how I ended up with two pounds of rhubarb and the breasts of two entire turkeys this week. (Did you know that if you order two turkey breasts you end up with the entire breast portion of two individual turkeys? I didn’t.) What was I planning to do with the rhubarb? Uh, something. You know, something springy and desserty. Involving rhubarb.
My unfortunate shopping habits certainly keep me from getting bored eating the same thing over and over again, but at the same time, they frequently put me in a difficult position. What exactly can one make for dinner with a pound of Italian sausage meat, chipotles in adobo, and a quart of buttermilk? I like to pretend that this is a healthy challenge to my creativity. Hey, the meal may turn out weird, but what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right?
Maybe someday I will resign myself to listmaking, or actually manage to think twice before tossing something like truffle butter or a nice big jicama into my online shopping cart. I suspect it will take marriage or motherhood to force that change through the sheer shame of having to feed someone else the bizarre meals I make for myself, and the frequency with which I forget to buy any protein. In the mean time, consider me the Iron Chef of weird ingredients. And if anyone has any favorite rhubarb recipes, I’m all ears.