A Personal Rant… On The Subject Of Shoes
I have a horrifying confession. I may be the only person on the planet who feels this way. Or just the only person under the age of 70. I realize that this may make me a traitor to my generation, and possibly also a curmudgeon waiting to happen the second I turn 40. I can’t help it. Here it is:
I. Hate. Flip Flops.
That’s right, you heard me. Every girl’s favorite summer footwear? The uniform of women all over the city every July weekend? I hate them. This is not a real shoe, people. It is a piece of foam that keeps the hot sand at the beach from burning your feet on the way to the water. And yet, people wear them EVERYWHERE. I have seen a standard foam flip flop at the Trustees’ Dining Room at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. This is the equivalent of pretending that the built-in liner of your running shorts is lingerie. There is no arch support in them, they are not in fact that comfortable, and they’re certainly not especially flattering. The main virtue of a flip flop, as far as I can tell, is that if one falls off in the street and is blown away by the wind, it will be no great loss. Yes, I used to own a pair. FOR THE SWIMMING POOL AT THE GYM.
Maybe I’ve been influenced by my childhood. I remember getting them at Woolworth’s with my grandmother as a kid (and if you’re too young to have any idea what Woolworth’s is, don’t even speak to me!). They came out of a bin, cost about $3, and were kept together in pairs with a clear plastic tie. I’m a little unclear on how they have advanced since then, handy though they are for going for a pedicure. If you can get them for a dollar (*cough* Lily! *cough), are you really confident that they’re an actual shoe? The part that I really don’t get is the excitement over different flip flip companies. They’re rubber and foam in a designated shape. How different can they possibly be? The extent to which any flip flop is different from any other flip flop is minimal at best.
That’s right. Bring on the scorn and contumely. Eject me summarily from the fold. I still hate them.
Just to stoke the fire here i will insert a link for Havaianas and point out that some of these go for $35 a pair. Also I include a link for “Fit-Flops” which are billed as “Performance Athletic Sandals” and I have to say, owning a pair myself, these are quite comfortable.
Where does the hatred end? Does it extend to Tevas? What about bejeweled leather thong sandals (which are basically flip flops made of a different material)? Is is just the rubber foam kind that really bother you (in non-beach environments) or just footwear with a flat edgeless sole and toe thongs? And you have to admit (as you have, above) that nothing is really more convenient for post pedicure strolls …
http://www.havaianasus.com/index.html
http://www.fitflopsandal.com/womens_fitflops/
It is exactly the fact that some of them go for $35 that makes it so ridiculous. WHAT are you paying $35 for? FOAM! Are they worth $34 more than the $1 ones? And if so, because of what?
Flip flops are fine in their place. See e.g. the beach, the locker room, the pool. And I’m not really talking about jeweled up leather sandals — yes, they’re substantially similar to flip flops, but at least you can make an argument that they are an actual shoe, made of reasonably durable shoe material. I own Tevas — which I wear on whitewater rafting trips and to the laundry room. I will not be showing up at the Metropolitan Opera wearing them any time soon.
Flannel pajamas are comfortable too. And need I say more on the built-in liner for running shorts?
I like them. No, scratch that, LOVE them.
They’re comfy, they’re airy, they show off my rock star pedi, and you can get the non-foam cute ones (but foam is more comfy, IMO).
I promise not to wear them to the Opera, however. Time and place, people!
What about at picnics? Barbeques? Fish frys?
I know you’re just torturing me!
Actually, I’ve never been to a fish fry. I think I’d have to experience that before giving an opinion. I’m willing as a principle, however, to accept flip flops at any occasion where one might reasonably anticipate red gingham tablecloths. Unless it’s a wedding and it’s being done ironically, in which case still not okay.
You have an ally in me, Kai.
I scorn the flip flop. (sorry Lily – I still love ya, doll).
*sobs* *hiccups* *sobs*
I love my flips, I do. I can’t help it. My feet suck (and I know, wearing flip flops make it even worse in the long run but SHUSH) and it feels SO NICE to just flippity flop around the house in something that actually lets my feet breathe. When you haz deez bunions, ya do what ya gotta do.
But I do agree with a time and a place. Seeing someone in a pair of Havianas in a nice dining establishment makes me want to rip my hair out. And I live in Colorado, LAND OF CASUAL DRESSING EVEN WHEN YOU SHOULD BE GETTING FANCY. Ugh.
I’m with you kai. I hate flip flops, don’t wear them, never wear them. I wear high-heeled “sandals” all summer long – and I love them.
I am SO happy you voiced your hatred. I, from the age of 6, was raised in Hawaii. The land of “flip flops” or “slippah”s as we called them. Even at that age I ABSOLUTELY HATED them. I actually chose to go bare foot over wearing them.
Why? Whenever I wear foam attached to my foot with a strap of rubber, I find my toes curling under, trying like hell to cling on. I get cramps in my arches from the strain…and worse (for any “fashionista”), it makes me walk like a duck. In 5-6″ heels, I walk like a goddess. In flip flops, I walk like poultry. NOT a fair trade in my opinion.
I’m not a huge fan of the look of gladiator sandals, but OH MY GOD do I love them. For the first time in my life I have sandals that are strapped down to my feet and allow me to strut my stuff
THANK YOU!!! I say this every year when the sun comes out and I see them on every single girl. I call them shower shoes as I only wore them when I had to live in a fraternity one summer and I wouldn’t dare put my bare feet in their showers so I wore flip flops. That is the only acceptable place to wear them!
I’m glad to see I’m not the only one! I LOVE a good heel…
Flip Flops are great for:
taking out the trash
walking the dog
going down to the laundry room
walking around the house when you haven’t swept the hardwood in several months
swatting flies
I think that they should probably stick to this basic role, and everything will be fine.
With that said, you’re a new yorker, right? So do you remember the dreaded Chinese slippers? (mesh, floral patterned grandma slippers that everyone seemed to wear EVERYWHERE!!)? When you consider those, I think flip-flops are only minor offenders.
I really found that totally inexplicable. My grandparents used to wear those around their condo. And young people were wearing them around the city? I’m still not confident I didn’t hallucinate that trend after some bad oysters.
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