Inspired by our post on Nerdy Pick Up Lines, we have a special treat for you from one of our readers and a good *cough* friend of mine. In addition to being able to guess a woman’s bra size with more accuracy than she does (see my post on my professional bra fitting), his hidden talents include expertise with a lunging whip (I swear!) and composing startlingly powerful metaphors linking astronomical phenomena with the process of getting it on.  Ahem:

How sex is like falling into a quantum singularity

time is distorted the closer you get
things go faster and faster until the climax
it usually results in a fast moving stream of ejected mass
there is a point of no return
there is always a lot of circling and stripping of outside layers
nerds are always talking about it but none of them has ever seen it
the really crazy stuff happens in the dark
once you have experienced it, you are not the same
everyone is drawn towards it whether they admit it or not
people didn’t believe it really happened before the 60s but it did
space is distorted so 6 inches could seem like 8 or even 10!

As a post-script, the author says that he keeps trying to convince himself that he’s not a geek and then something like this spontaneously happens.  Mm-hm.  You keep telling yourself that, sweetie.  Kind of like I’m going to keep telling myself that it’s only because my father is obsessed with cosmology that I understood all of it!  And that I laughed my ass off.

Tags: quantum singularity, sex

This entry was posted on Friday, March 6th, 2009 at 9:17 am and is filed under Et alia. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.